


yours for the weekend

by roxiefierce



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Enthusiastic Consent, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fatal car accident, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lies, Loss of Parent(s), Manipulative Sheev Palpatine, Mention of Implant, No Condom, Oral Sex, Parent Death, Regret, Self-Worth Issues, Sex, Smut, Vaginal Sex, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:53:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28331178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roxiefierce/pseuds/roxiefierce
Summary: She’s not even sure where she’s going. Her only thought had been to get away, which is apparently why she finds herself at the airport, a hastily packed bag at her side. Pick a place, she thinks. A new place. But familiar aches stir within her at a recognizable name on the departures board.One night changed everything for Rey. She flees her hometown, clinging to the only family she has left. But years later, an impulsive return forces her to confront the memories—and the man—she left behind.Inspired by "'tis the damn season" by Taylor Swift from her recent albumevermore.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 18
Kudos: 53
Collections: Reylo Evermore Flash Fic





	yours for the weekend

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been quite a journey. I had the basic idea for a light angst story, but the more I wrote, the more it was clear that the angst could not be subdued. But I feel like it's exactly what these characters needed from this particular story. I hope you enjoy the story and their journey.
> 
> Please read the tags before you start. I really tried to be clear with them, but reach out if you have questions or feel I need to add/edit them. I am always learning and happy to do so!
> 
> ***Please see end notes for detailed tag descriptions including fatal car accident, parent death, implied/referenced character death, loss of parent(s), and guilt***

moodboard by [ladyreylo](https://twitter.com/LadyReyIo)

She’s not even sure where she’s going. Her only thought had been to get away, which is apparently why she finds herself at the airport, a hastily packed bag at her side. _Pick a place,_ she thinks. _A new place_. But familiar aches stir within her at a recognizable name on the departures board.

She’d worked so hard to lock it all away. To forget. She knows she should walk away. Pick a different place. A far, far away place.

Instead, she finds herself talking to the ticketing agent. Buying the ticket. Going through security. Boarding the plane.

The flight gives her time to think. Not the best thing, really. She hasn’t been back in years—not since the accident. Then, it had been all too easy to take off and leave it all behind. The town. The people. The memories.

_Anger always makes things easy_ , she muses.

Four years. For four years she’d thrown herself into her work—filed reports, wined and dined clients, pushed herself past the point of exhaustion. And it wasn’t enough. The proverbial keys to the kingdom had been handed to a man who spent every weekend golfing.

_“You didn’t think I was going to make you my successor, did you?” Sheev tuts. “No, my dear. It takes real strength to run a company.”_

_“What? You think I’m weak? After everything I’ve done for you?”_

_“Don’t be coy. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You never go for the kill.” It brings her up short. “You think I didn’t notice?”_

_She’s confused. “Grandfather…”_

_“Rey.” His voice is firm. “Don’t get so emotional. It’s unbecoming.”_

_Anger surges now and she lashes out. “It’s not emotional to want to call you grandfather.”_

_“It’s weakness.” He snaps, before composing himself. “I thought you could be different. But I see now you’re just like your father. A worthless nobody. Certainly no blood of mine.”_

So here she is. On a plane heading toward the last place she thought she’d ever find herself again. Anger had driven her away, true enough. But it couldn’t erase the memories. Despite her best efforts, regret and guilt had plagued her almost from the moment she left. And now anger is driving her right back—for the weekend, at least.

She still remembers when she thought she’d never leave. Now, she’s not sure why she’s bothering to go back. It won’t be a warm welcome. Quite the opposite, in fact. She doesn’t blame them. It was her fault, after all. And there’s nothing worse than knowing that.

But sometimes, you just need home. _’Tis the damn season, right?_

———————

Once the plane lands, it’s another two hours before she pulls up to her—to the Andors’ house. The drive from the airport didn’t do much for her anxieties. Now, the house looms, dark and foreboding in its plainness. This time of year, there should be lights, decorations. It should be inviting and warm.

It’s exactly as she’d left it, down to the key she’d stowed beneath the doormat. Inside, a pile of mail has collected on the kitchen counter. It seems much too small for four years’ worth, but then again she had set up automated payments for everything.

At first, she’d held on to it all purely because it was easier to ignore. Out of sight, out of mind. Then, Sheev found out. He questioned her resolve, her loyalty. It was the first true glimpses of the man she’d been warned against. She’d chosen him, hadn’t she? So why was he so worried about this little house in this little town? She held onto it as a reminder, then. And she told him as much. He assumed it was about her choosing him. But it was more about what she’d left behind—what she might return to one day. She had just been too scared to try.

Even now, she assumes this will all go the way of her fears: cold shoulders and angry stares. And maybe that’s why she’s here. To prove she has no place. To make it easier to accept her fate. But the memories can’t be suppressed here.

Photos line the walls, the refrigerator. _Jyn. Cassian. Ben._ She traces their faces with her fingertips. Already she feels the memories spilling out from every crack within her. Overwhelming and insistent. _Look at us,_ they whisper. _Remember?_ For the first time in a long time, she wants to. Despite the pain. Despite the guilt and the regret. She just wants to feel loved again.

She doesn’t remember locking up. Turning the heat on. Climbing the stairs. Her last awareness is the pain as the tears finally come, sobs wracking her body.

———————

It’s brighter when she wakes. She’s disoriented, but quickly remembers the events of the day before. Just being here she feels nineteen again. Her nose twitches, searching for the typical scent of pancakes and coffee. But it never comes. Her stomach, missing the memo, grumbles in annoyance. _Right,_ she thinks, _food._

A quick shower and car ride later, she’s at Maz’s Diner. She could go elsewhere—probably should go elsewhere—but her still grumbling stomach urges her inside.

It’s all familiar when she walks in: the bell on the door, the ‘Seat Yourself’ sign, the smells, the noise. She hurries to a quiet booth on the side, facing away from the door. No need to speed her exile along before she gets at least one meal.

“Rey Andor!” She flinches at the name. It feels like the whole diner has frozen with Maz’s exclamation. _Well_ , she thinks, _so much for prolonging the inevitable._

“Maz,” she whispers, peering anxiously at the table to avoid the old woman’s gaze. Maz places a mug down, pouring coffee from the carafe grasped in her hand.

“It’s been a long time.” Maz pauses briefly before gently adding, “Too long.”

Rey’s head jerks up, eyes meeting Maz’s. The coldness she feared is nowhere to be found. A hand cups her cheek and she chokes down a sob. “Let’s get you some pancakes, yes?” She nods, not trusting herself to speak.

The noise level picks back up as Maz moves away. Rey uses the alone time to collect herself. It’s not long before Maz returns with a plate stacked high with blueberry pancakes. She places it down with a flourish, winking, “Your favorite.”

Rey smiles instinctively. It feels like she never left. Like the past four years never happened. Like it was all a terrible nightmare and she’s finally waking up. _Maybe I can come home._ But it’s an illusion that’s broken by the bell at the door. She turns and freezes at the sight of the figure walking in.

“ _Ben_ ,” she whispers as Maz calls out, “Solo!” It has the unfortunate side effect of drawing his attention. She wants to look away, to hide, to run—but she can’t. His eyes alight on Maz first before dropping to her. She stops breathing as his eyes meet hers. There’s a flicker of recognition before they ice over. Her warmth meets his cold, like fog on a windshield. And just like that, the flicker of hope kindled only moments before vanishes in the haze.

“Maz,” he grumbles, ignoring Rey completely as he stalks over to the counter. Maz meets him on the other side, sliding a few plates over that Rey recognizes as his usual meal, albeit with larger portions than it used to have. “To go.”

Maz freezes at his words, frowning. “To go? Since when?”

“I’m running late.”

“Liar,” Maz huffs, but turns anyway to box up the food. He’s walking away even as he grabs the bag and, without thinking, Rey jumps up to follow.

“Ben.” He stiffens but keeps walking. “Ben!” She runs to catch up with his long stride, hand outstretched to grasp his arm.

He spins before she makes contact, “What?” His voice is harsh and cold. Nothing like she remembers. Nothing like the gruff warmth he’d afforded Maz. It startles her into silence. “What do you want?”

“It’s been a while.” She cringes at the awkwardness. It’s only emphasized by Ben’s answering scoff. “I mean, how are you?”

“Fine.”

“Things going well?”

“Great.”

“Everyone good?”

“I’ve been hanging out with Rose.” He throws it out flatly, just like every other answer. But it’s clear this one was thrown out in defense. A shield against her. It’s disconcerting. Rose had been her friend too once. She has no right to it, but an ache still forms at the idea of them together. It makes sense, in a way. For them to bond over their mutual anger. Ben was not the only one she abandoned here—he’s just the one who meant the most aside from her parents.

“Oh, I didn’t mean—,” she starts, stumbling over the words, but he cuts her off.

“What do you want, Rey?”

“I don’t know,” she blurts out. She half expects him to walk away, but he waits. She fidgets, uncomfortable under the scrutiny. Still, he stares her down. He wants an answer, that much is clear. _If anyone deserves one, it’s him,_ she thinks. “I needed to get away,” she finally admits, “I ended up here.”

“Odd choice.”

It’s her turn to scoff, defensive in light of his dismissal. “Yeah, well. It’s just for the weekend.”

“Of course.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. Go ahead, Rey. Run away to Sheev. It worked out well for you the last time, didn’t it?” She reels back as though he’d slapped her. He runs a hand over his face, regret clear as day. He reaches for her but she steps back. “Shit. Rey—”

“No,” she cuts him off, “you’re absolutely right.”

He looks pained at this proclamation. “Rey, I didn’t—”

“Just go back to Rose. Don’t even worry about me.” She turns to head back inside, but his hand reaches out for her. She shivers at the touch of his skin against hers. It’s warm and familiar. She wants to lean into it, to turn back to him. His fingertips ghost up her arm, tracing her neck up to her cheek where he finally pulls away. She hears him take a shaky breath and finds small comfort in the proof that he’s just as affected as her. He’s quiet when he speaks again.

“I’m not seeing Rose.”

“Oh. Well, that’s—I mean, I wasn’t really asking.”

“I mean, we have been hanging out. But just not like that. How I implied, I mean.” He flushes now, embarrassed. “Shit. I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s fine. I get it. I’ve been gone a long time.” _And I hurt you,_ her brain supplies.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” he continues, quietly. “Any of it.” She stiffens, aware that he’s no longer talking about Rose. She’d expected it—the anger, the blame. But if she’s being honest part of her hadn’t expected it from him.

“You weren’t wrong,” she admits quietly. His sudden grip on her shoulders surprises her.

“No. I _am_ wrong.” The words erupt urgently. She knows he means it, but she also believes he meant it the first time. It had come from his anger, but that didn’t necessarily make it untrue. “Rey—”

She knows what he’s about to say. But it’s not something she wants to hear right now. A sharp shake of her head snaps his mouth closed. He stares for a moment, but eventually concedes with a nod. This should be the end of it—no need to drag it out. But she wants more.

“I’m staying at the Andors’ house,” she pauses, corrects herself, “my parents’ house.” He waits, anticipating her next words. It’s like he knows what they’ll be before she even speaks. Like he wants those words as much as she wants to offer them. “You should come by.”

It’s out there now and her heart pounds waiting for his answer. She came here terrified of how people would react, but standing here now she knows the only person whose opinion matters is Ben’s. So it’s no little relief when he nods again. She doesn’t dare ask when, but he offers, “Tonight?” and she agrees quickly before either of them change their minds.

They part, him to his truck and her back to the diner. The whispers and stares are more prominent now, fueled by the show her and Ben had provided just outside the windows. She doesn’t manage more than a few bites before it becomes too much. Maz brings a to go box before Rey can even ask. “Don’t be such a stranger, child,” she demands. Rey smiles gratefully, but makes no promises. From Maz’s knowing look, it doesn’t go unnoticed.

Driving home, she feels a deep ache of worry that Ben will change his mind. That she’ll be waiting for someone who will never come. Familiar doubts crowd in, whispers of guilt and regret and lies that threaten to drag her down.

But then she remembers his fingers tracing her skin. His shaky breath. And she allows herself to hope that he won’t change his mind.

———————

She swings by the grocery story on the way home, partly for supplies and partly as a distraction. It takes up less time than she’d like. She’s back at the house before she knows it. Waiting.

It’s hard to wait. Especially in this place. She can’t disconnect from it here, can’t pretend to be the outsider she made herself out to be—the outsider who caused so much destruction.

Memories lurk in every room, along every wall. She’s relieved when she finally hears the hum of a truck. A peak through the curtains confirms it’s Ben, sending her rushing to check her appearance in the hall mirror. Satisfied she’s presentable, she hovers near the door, waiting.

His knock comes only seconds later. She opens it more quickly than she should, probably. But she gestures him inside. Some of the coldness from the morning has left. There’s still tension, but anticipation too.

She leads him to the living room. He looks uncomfortable here, glancing around with a small frown. At first she attributes it just to the house itself. She’d been similarly affected when she first arrived. But the frown only seems to deepen, so she breaks the silence, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Not wrong, anyway. Just different.”

“Oh?”

“It’s December.”

She catches his meaning immediately. “That’s one of the first thoughts I had when I pulled up yesterday. Even packed away, I can only run so far from the memories. I don’t know if putting the decorations up would make it better or worse.”

“They’re still here?”

“Of course,” she gestures above their heads, “In the attic. I almost threw it all away. But I just couldn’t. I didn’t even want to look at any of it after the funeral.”

He takes a step toward her. “I’m sorry, Rey. About what I said earlier.”

“It’s fine, Ben,” she cuts him off with a wave. “I know better than anyone what anger can do.”

“Rey—”

“I hurt you, Ben.”

“It doesn’t make it okay for me to hurt you.”

“So let’s stop, then. Hurting each other, I mean.” His responding nod is quick, but she takes it as a good sign. “I’ve missed you,” she admits.

“It’s been four years.”

“And?”

“You haven’t been back.”

“No, but I still missed you.” She takes a step toward him and she sees the moment he catches on. “We never did get closure.”

“Rey, what are you asking for?”

“I think you know.”

“I need you to say it.”

“Let me be yours again. Just for this weekend.”

“Rey—”

“Did you miss me?”

“What?”

“Did you miss me?”

“Of course I did,” he snaps.

“So what’s stopping you?”

“I didn’t exactly do well the last time you left.”

“But this time you know I’m leaving.”

“That doesn’t make it any better.”

“It does.” He scoffs. “Hear me out. We both need closure. And this is our chance. We say goodbye on our terms. No regrets. No fighting. Just finally getting to say goodbye.”

He’s really thinking about it now. Her heart pounds in her chest while she waits for his answer. She wants this, wants him. She just hopes he wants her too. When he finally speaks, she practically sags with relief. “One weekend?”

“One weekend.” She knows it’s a bad idea. Knows it will kill her to walk away again. Knows she doesn’t want to go back to Sheev. Knows she’ll do it anyway because he’s the only family she has left. But she also knows she wants him. And she might not deserve this slice of happiness it would bring her, but she damn well wants it.

And then his mouth slots over hers and she loses all rational thought. It’s exactly as she remembers, but better. A moan escapes as his fingers thread through her hair, pulling her closer. She feels his tongue tease at her bottom lip and opens for him. He tastes of coffee and something sweet, but there’s an earthiness too. He backs her towards the wall, hands trailing down her sides to lift her. Her arms wrap around his neck, her legs around his waist. It’s effortless and familiar.

He breaks away to kiss along her jaw, down her neck. Another moan breaks loose and she’s begging, “My room. Please, Ben.” And then they’re moving. He pulls away when they stumble sideways into a wall on the way up. She takes over, pressing kisses along his jaw to her goal. One nibble at his ear and he groans just the way he used to.

“Rey,” he growls a warning. She grins but pulls back and resumes her attentions on his neck. It doesn’t take long before he’s pressing her onto her bed. He climbs over her, sliding them both up so they rest comfortably across its width.

She pulls at his shirt and he obliges, making quick work of its removal. Pressing herself up, she pulls at her own and throws it blindly behind her. She follows it with her bra as he kicks off his shoes and drops his pants to the ground, leaving him in just his boxers. She toes off her own shoes before his lips seal over her nipple and she loses all concentration.

She whimpers, grasping at his hair as his tongue swirls around her rapidly hardening bud. He twirls the other between his fingers before alternating his attentions. She writhes under him, arching and desperate for more. “Ben, please.”

He trails down her stomach, one hand still thumbing at her breast. He tugs at her jeans and she pulls her hands from his head to help. Her panties quickly join them on the floor. He moves fast, fingers sliding through her slick folds. He groans at the contact, “You’re so wet.”

“Just for you,” she moans. “Always you.” And then he’s circling her clit and speech gives way to breathless moans. She finds purchase in his hair again as he slides first one, then another finger inside her. It’s been a while, but the sting quickly fades into more pleasure. His lips seal over her clit, pushing her to the edge. It’s his fingers curling within her that finally trigger her release. She screams, fingers latched in his hair as she rides it out. He obliges, slowly pulling away until she relaxes back into the bed.

He kisses at her neck, whispering endearments that don’t belong. She palms his cock through his boxers to distract him. His heads whips back with a moan. He helps her shuffle them off but then grabs her hand when she begins to grip him. “Later.”

She nods and he pulls away, standing to grab for his pants. She catches on quickly and stops him with a hand on his arm. He looks to her, questioning. “I’m clean. And I have an implant. So if you want…”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she bites her lip, “I want to feel you. I need to.” _It’s my only chance._

He nods, eyes softening like he understands her unspoken thoughts too.

He moves over her once more, gently trailing kisses up her body until he reaches her lips. They lock eyes as he positions himself and presses into her. For a moment, time freezes. She feels the press of his body over hers. The softness that hasn’t left his gaze. The sensation of his cock inside her, hot and hard and familiar. And then he’s moving. Softness gives way to urgency and passion. Her hips rise to meet his thrusts, fingers clinging to his back.

He pulls at her hips and the new angle hits the perfect spot, drawing her right back to the edge as she pants his name. “Come for me again,” he commands. His hand slides between them to circle her clit and it’s more than enough. She screams into his neck, clamping down around him. But even in her haze she knows she wants him to fall with her. She lifts her head to suck at his earlobe and is immediately rewarded by his grunt and the firm press of his hips to hers as a warmth fills her.

They both collapse, breathless with exhaustion. He rolls to avoid crushing her but pulls her to his side instead. It’s the last thing she remembers before she drifts off.

———————

The weekend passes in a blur of pleasure and emotion. They quietly ignore the elephant in the room. Several times she thinks he’ll ask her to stay, but the words don’t make it past his eyes. And more than once she nearly begs him to wait for her—to heal, to come back. But she manages to bite her tongue.

They somehow avoid most conversation outside the standard mundane topics: the news, the weather. Mostly, they study one another silently, waiting to see who will crack first. But neither does so they keep going. They lose themselves in each other; she loses track of how many times. The urgency surrenders to memory. And by the final morning there are tears and comfort. When he whispers her name, she cuts him off with a shaky, “Don’t.”

He kisses her cheek when he leaves. The tears start almost as soon as she closes the door. Her heart wrenches as she hears his truck hum to life. The road not taken has never looked better. _But he deserves more than you,_ she reminds herself. It takes a moment to realize the hum hasn’t faded.

She doesn’t think when she rushes out to his truck, hastily wiping tears from her eyes. He startles when she knocks on the window, but rolls it down. They share a long stare. It’s clear that this is hurting him, prolonging the inevitable. But she is selfish. And she wants more time with him.

“We could just ride around. Like we used to. One last time before I go?” She bites her lip, fidgeting under his gaze. She’s terrified he’ll turn her away. Her heart stops when he rolls the window up, but then he reaches over to push the door open for her. She jumps in before he can change his mind.

It all comes back to her. The feel of the seat, the vibration of the truck, the faint scent of something earthy. She’s painfully aware that it’s not the same though. There’s too much tension for that and not enough of his smile. She misses his smile.

She’s not really paying attention, so she’s surprised when they pass the community college. It throws her right back. Ben had always been a year ahead of her, but they grew up together. The years they were separated were always the hardest, but it did mean she got the lay of the land before she even got to her new school. College had been no different. But it was also when everything went wrong.

_She parks behind Methodist, grabbing for her bag as she jumps out to make a run for it—right into Ben. He laughs as he reaches out to steady her. “Easy there, babe.”_

_“Ben! What are you—?” She breaks off to check her watch and panics all over again. “I’m so late! Move!”_

_“You’re fine. I took care of it.”_

_“What? Stop joking around. I’m going to miss my final!” She moves around him and he follows, laughing. “Don’t laugh! I didn’t even get to eat.”_

_He’s ahead of her again, dangling a bag from Maz’s in front of her face. She gasps and lunges for it, peering in to find several biscuits. “I know it’s not pancakes, but these are infinitely more portable.”_

_She stuffs one of the biscuits into her mouth with a mumbled thanks. Ben snorts, “Attractive.”_

_“Shut up,” she grumbles._

_“Anyway,” he continues, “your professor might be running a little late.”_

_“How could you possibly know that?”_

_“I might’ve run into him at Maz’s. It seems his food was going to be a little delayed.”_

_“What bad luck!”_

_“The worst.”_

_They laugh then and she leans up to press a quick kiss to his lips. He grins against her mouth and pulls her in deeper. She swats half-heartedly at his chest but can’t suppress her own grin as she pulls away. “You’re incorrigible.”_

_“Can you blame me?”_

_“No, but more later.” He huffs in mock annoyance. “I have a final to ace!”_

_“True,” he leans down as though to kiss her again. She leans forward unconsciously, heart pounding. Instead, he hovers just out of reach. “And then you’re all mine for the holidays.”_

_He grins as she shivers and it’s her turn to huff when he pulls away. Anticipation lingers. They haven’t been able to get much time alone with the end of the semester approaching. She’s looking forward to the break as much as him. “What are we waiting for then? Let’s go!”_

_He reaches for her hand and pulls her towards the building. They’re almost to the door when a voice stalls their progress, “Rey?”_

_They stop and she spies an older man waiting just off to the side. She doesn’t recognize him. Ben’s grip on her hand tightens and he moves slightly in front of her, protective. She gives him a quick squeeze as she steps forward. “Hmm?”_

_“Rey Andor?” the man continues. She stiffens, something tightening in her gut. She’s nervous and she’s not sure why._

_“Yes, that’s me. I’m sorry. Do I know you?”_

_“No, but I’ve been wanting to meet you.” She waits, but he doesn’t say anything else. She’s definitely confused now. And still nervous._

_“I’m actually running late right now…” she trails off, starting to move for the door again._

_“My name is Sheev. Sheev Palpatine. I’m your grandfather.”_

_She stops immediately. “My grandfather?”_

_“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be so abrupt. I just can’t believe I’ve finally found you.”_

_“You’ve been looking for me?” It comes out small, like a whisper. Her disbelief is plain, she knows, but she can’t help it. She’s known for a while her mother and father died—Jyn and Cassian, her adoptive parents, had helped her find out. But they couldn’t find anyone else. No other family, they’d told her._

_“Of course, my dear. I would’ve come sooner, but your parents—” Her head snaps up at those words._

_“What?”_

_“Your adoptive parents, I mean.” It doesn’t ease the tension._

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“You didn’t know?” The man, her grandfather, looks regretful as she shakes her head. “I’m so sorry, my dear. I found you months ago.”_

_“Months?”_

_“But they wouldn’t let me see you. They turned me away. But I had to see you.”_

_There’s a buzzing in her ears. Sheev keeps talking, but she can’t hear anything he’s saying. It’s too much. A chasm opens in her chest and she’s sinking into it._

_“Rey!” Ben’s shout brings her back to herself. His eyes are wide and his hands are on her shoulders now. She blinks back tears and he pulls her in, tucking her into his chest._

_“I’m sorry. I didn’t—” Sheev starts, but Ben cuts him off with a snarl._

_“I think you’ve done enough.”_

_“Ben!” She pulls back. It may be a shock, but this is her grandfather. Her family. Ben winces and kisses her forehead._

_“I’m sorry, babe.”_

_She just nods, turning back to the old man. “I’m sorry. It’s just a lot.”_

_“No, no. You’re right. I’m so sorry, my dear.” He blinks as though he’s fighting back his own tears. “I should go.”_

_“I don’t—”_

_“No, I’m going to go. But take my card.” He hands her a business card. She grasps it, nodding and grateful for his understanding. “I’m not going to lose you now that I’ve found you.”_

“Rey?”

She startles back to the present. Ben is staring, his concern so similar to that day years ago. It would be so easy to tell him. But she plasters on a smile instead. “Sorry. I’m good.”

“You’re not.”

“No, really, I’m fine. Promise.”

“Rey.”

He focuses on the road again but it’s clear from his raised eyebrows that he’s more than skeptical. It’s her Ben now. Not the Ben she met outside Maz’s at the beginning of this weekend. And her Ben always knew when she was faking a smile. It makes her want to be the old Rey. His Rey.

“I was remembering the day I met Sheev. Do you remember?” He doesn’t say anything, but nods. “I was so shocked. Not just that I had a grandfather. That was surprising, yeah. But I think it was more that they lied to me. Jyn and Cassian. They told me there was no one else. And to find out they’d lied? I was so mad.”

“You missed your final.” She nods. He hesitates. This is the part he doesn’t know—the part that will make him realize that she really _is_ a terrible person. And she knows he’s going to ask. Knows she’s going to answer. “What happened that day, Rey?”

“I just had to see them. I had to know why. Why would they lie to me? I was so sure it had to be a misunderstanding. But it wasn’t.” The memory flickers in her mind. She can still see their faces—the regret, the anguish as they pleaded with her. “They knew I had family in the world and they kept it from me. Apparently, my birth parents left a letter when they dropped me at that orphanage. It’s why my parents kept it from me. They were protecting me from him. I was so angry with them that I didn’t believe any of it. I didn’t want to listen. I called Sheev and he came right away. And I left with him.”

“Rey…”

He’s pulled over, she notices. The words pour from her and it’s obvious the dam she’d built around the past is collapsing at an alarming rate, but she can’t stop. And she doesn’t want to. She wants him to understand. Needs him to understand.

“They came after me, of course. But Sheev took me out of town. He had an explanation for all of it, of course. He wasn’t surprised by the letter. His son had been stealing from the company and was angry at his own father for turning him in. He told me I was the light of his life when they disappeared with me. And that he never stopped looking for me. He wanted me to fix what his son had broken. He said he’d train me. Real-world experience. And then he’d give me the company. My legacy, he called it. I was hanging on every word. And then he drove me home.” The tears flow down her cheeks now. “I saw the police lights from down the street. I remember rolling my eyes. I thought they’d called them. But then I saw you there. I think I knew before I got out of the car. And I knew it was my fault.”

“No.”

“They would never have gotten in the car if I didn’t leave.”

“Rey, no” His voice is firm, desperate. “You couldn’t have known.”

“I knew it was hurting them. I could see how upset they were. And I left anyway. I didn’t even give them a chance. I ran away. Just like you said. But they were right about him. He was never my family.” And Sheev’s words come back to her now. “I’m nothing. Just a worthless nobody. No family. No home. Nobody.”

The dam breaks. She feels Ben reach for her and turns instinctively towards him. He wraps his arm around her, maneuvering her into his lap. She babbles apologies against his gentle shushes and when he buries her face into his neck she screams. He grips her tighter, whispering in her ear.

“You’re not nothing, Rey. You’re not.” A hand holds the back of her head, another rubs soothingly across her back. She screams out her grief. Her anger. Her regrets. It feels like it will never be enough. “It’s okay. Let it out. It’s not your fault.”

She moves to pull away, but he holds tight. His voice is firm when he speaks again, louder. “It’s not your fault.” She sobs louder. “And he was wrong about you. You’ve always been somebody.”

It’s a blur of tears and screams and shaking. And it’s nothing she expected. No blame. No anger. No disgust. No disappointment. It’s support. Forgiveness. Concern. Acceptance. She doesn’t know how much time passes. But she knows he holds her the whole time. He listened to the truth and held tighter instead of pushing her away. It feels like a weight has been lifted from her. The guilt, while not totally gone, loosens its grip.

And as he keeps talking, he cuts through the last string holding her to Sheev Palpatine.

“You have family. You always have. I should have hopped on the next plane that day. I should have gone after you. I should have made it clear to you every day that you are loved. Because you are. I love you, Rey.” _Rey Andor-Solo,_ she thinks hopefully, burying the idea of Rey Palpatine forever. “And you’re not nobody. You’re not alone.”

“Neither are you.” He feels him tense beneath her at her whispered response.

“Rey?”

“Mmm?”

“How long have you been awake?” She hears the shake in his voice, so she sits up to look at him. His eyes study her, guarded and nervous. She reaches out to cup his cheek, leaning forward to press her forehead to his.

“I love you too, Ben.” She hears his smile even before she feels it against her lips. Their other kisses had been rooted in last chances and lust. This one is full of hope and love. And neither pulls away completely, content to remain close.

For the first time in a long time, she knows what she wants.

“Ben?”

“Mmm?”

“Can you help me decorate the house?” He doesn’t answer, but she thinks his lips pressed to hers again are answer enough.

She knows there’s more to come—more talk, more therapy, more tears, more apologies. But she knows she’s on the right path. And it’s always led back to him—for more than just one weekend.

**Author's Note:**

> Regarding the tags for fatal car accident, parent death, implied/referenced character death, loss of parent(s), and guilt:   
> In this fic, Jyn and Cassian Andor are Rey's adoptive parents who died in a car crash before the fic takes place. This is the catalyst for Rey leaving town years ago as she blames herself. That being said, it does come up in a type of flashback where Rey talks about what happened. There are no details provided other than the circumstances leading up to the car accident.
> 
> Thank you for reading!!! I truly hope you enjoyed the story and where these characters brought me. They had a rough journey, but they made it in the end. 
> 
> Kudos and comments always appreciated! 💕
> 
> Feel free to visit me on Twitter [here](https://twitter.com/roxiefierce)!


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